Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


Featured in Collections

Poetry by Argentum-Lupae-Luna

poems and stories by EclipticSnowLeopard

Awesome Art by Temptia


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
March 31, 2013
File Size
1.6 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,146
Favourites
85 (who?)
Comments
52
×
I am just a little boy in a grown man’s shell
Who finds himself lost in a daydream
That my mind manifested one Monday morning
On the cusp of being aged thirteen

Sitting on a plastic chair in a stale classroom
Looking out of the rain lashed window
Thoughts turn to the length of my imagination
And indeed what distance it could go

I was snapped back to reality as always
With my tank topped teacher's booming cry
This was not the first, nor would it be the last time
I would find myself preoccupied

Classmates around me may live their life linear
Like most people who have gone before
But I can’t see the point of a mind’s vast landscape
If I am not going to explore

I am just a little boy in a grown man’s shell
Who’s become lost in a lonely life
For me reality had not been the ruler
But it most certainly had been rife

Sitting on a leather chair in a stale office
Looking out of the sun starved window
My imagination was plotting it's escape
Leaving no clues to where it would go

I knew that stolen dreams were just a by-product
Of a so-called good education
But did they have to take my creativity
When they seized my imagination

The years have been bleak, a conceptual famine
The desire to daydream has increased
But when a mind becomes starved of stimulation
It will find dark thoughts on which to feast
7x
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwickedsoulsbook:
wickedsoulsbook Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Student Writer
this is my favorite poem so far. I have sat and daydreamed my entire life.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013   General Artist
yep, I know how that feels.

Glad you like this one so much :)
Reply
:iconconvictionbylarm:
ConvictionbyLarm Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Student General Artist
"Classmates around me may live their life linear"… I've often thought the same ^^ I'll be so happy when I'm out of school, that's rather a prison not a life :) and I wanna be a kind of child my whole life ! Never lost my respect for children :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013   General Artist
it is a great way of looking at it :)

I didn't really enjoy school either and couldn't wait to leave. Hopefully you dont have too much longer to go :)
Reply
:iconpixie-stixx:
Pixie-Stixx Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
This is so much like me when I was at school I felt alone as well.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013   General Artist
aww well I hope that time in your life has past now :)
Reply
:iconpixie-stixx:
Pixie-Stixx Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
Well for now :smile:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013   General Artist
hug timeeeeeeeeeeeeee :hug: lol
Reply
:iconpixie-stixx:
Pixie-Stixx Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
:hug: :giggle:
Reply
:iconmooyi:
Mooyi Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Student Writer
"My imagination was plotting it's escape" wrong "it's". On another note, I really enjoyed this poem and can definitely relate to the concept it conveys...
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013   General Artist
thanks for comment and pointing out my error :)
Reply
:iconmysocksrock:
MySocksRock Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Amazing as always my friend.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013   General Artist
thank you my friend :) Just about to note you :)
Reply
:iconmajcen007:
Majcen007 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh how we live, dream, and endlessly woo for our lovely imagination to come out again.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013   General Artist
:) we do. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this poem. It's much appreciated.
Reply
:iconmajcen007:
Majcen007 Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem :) I always enjoy doing so!
Reply
:iconninjananny:
ninjananny Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013
Really like this piece. It has a lot of truth in the words I sometimes find myself only able to express certain emotions rather than the wide range of which I could when I was younger. It's a real shame but nonetheless an amazing piece of writing :D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
thanks so much for the comment :) I really appreciate it and am glad you enjoyed the poem :D
Reply
:iconmomojiro:
Momojiro Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Student Writer
Really beautiful piece :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconmomojiro:
Momojiro Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome :iconbowplz:
Reply
:iconshamanscircle:
shamanscircle Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very relatable, even at my young age >.> very well done
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
it means alot when someone can relate to something i write. Makes me realise that no one is alone in their feelings :) Thanks for the comment :)
Reply
:iconshamanscircle:
shamanscircle Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
no problem ^_^
Reply
:iconcupcakekitten20:
cupcakekitten20 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013
I thought this was pretty (: :+favlove:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
:) Thank you very much.
Reply
:iconblessedheretic:
BlessedHeretic Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ifthe right still exists when and if have children...
Home schooling!
Life is diminished without imagination.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
I agree with your comment. I think in an ideal world each student could learn subjects tailored to their skills and what they wanted to do rather than learning endlessly about subjects which they have no interest in.

thanks for the comment! :)
Reply
:iconrustycrayons:
RustyCrayons Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The last 3 paragraphs are genius. You are amazing, both at writing and in general, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you so much, that is such a kind thing to say. I appreciate you watching me too :hug:
Reply
:iconrustycrayons:
RustyCrayons Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you're so welcome! you've inspired me to take up writing again, I used to be good at it and use it as an outlet all the time, but I'd kindof put it aside. Thanks so much!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
thats so good to hear! I know what you mean, I would struggle to function without writing:)
Reply
:iconstrudel--cutie4427:
Strudel--Cutie4427 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   Writer
so true!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013   General Artist
thank you for the comment! :)
Reply
:iconavonforest:
AvonForest Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
This is seriously the most beautiful piece of writing I've read for the past month. I've been starved of this magic.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
:) I am really pleased that you enjoyed it. Thank you.
Reply
:iconfedora-will:
Fedora-Will Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It is scary how accurately this describes my life. I love it.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
:) Thanks so much.
Reply
:iconfedora-will:
Fedora-Will Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome.
Reply
:iconsilvergabetha834:
silvergabetha834 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Professional General Artist
This is fantastic. I love the voice of the author, so honest and rhythmic. You address an oft-described dilemma, but you do it with a fresh, open perspective. Thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
:) Thank you for commenting. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:icontarzok:
Tarzok Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
:clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
:D thanks for the comment, fave and watch!
Reply
:icontarzok:
Tarzok Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
No problem=)
Reply
:iconsummerday27:
summerday27 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There is something, so very beautiful about this :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconsummerday27:
summerday27 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconpoeknowsprose:
poeknowsprose Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
I really loved this. Sad, but very easy to relate to. I think everyone has these issues every once in a while. Really well written.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
thank you, glad you liked it :)
Reply
:iconari-heart-matsuri:
Ari-Heart-Matsuri Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is reallllllllllllly beautiful. I just love it, and it gives me a strange feeling, because it sounds a little bit me. :) Wonderful!
Reply
Add a Comment: