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:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


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Poetry- non-fanfic type by IzzyMarrie

Literature by e-maginings


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Submitted on
November 12, 2012
File Size
1.1 KB
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Sta.sh
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4,455
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394 (who?)
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444
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Where did you learn to be promiscuous?
When did purity become a dirty word?
There is more than one way to stimulate
And commitment is indeed a verb

The pressure he will put upon you
Or the pressure you will put onto him
Is equal and opposite to the regret
And the feeling that you have sinned

Where did you learn to be promiscuous?
When did purity become a dirty word?
Physically able to copulate
But think about the consequences first

The pressure they will put upon you
To lose your innocence as quickly as them
All because they regret their actions
And want you to follow their trend

Where did you learn to be promiscuous?
Don't give your virginity so care free
Absolute control over your emotions
Absolute control over your body

The pressure they will put upon you
Will be laughable in years to come
Your friends, they rushed and found nothing
You waited patiently and found the one
just wanted to say thank you to anyone who has commented on this poem. I am glad you have been debating amongst yourselves.

It was never my intention to try and tell people how to live their lives. I was just offering my opinion.

Also I wanted to make it clear that at no point do I say the subject of the poem is female.

This was written with young people in mind.

I am not 'slut-shaming' as a few people have said. I had never even heard that term lol.

As far as I am concerned people can and will do as they please. I am just aware that sometimes as a young person it is not always easy to remain a virgin. I wanted this to highlight that it is infact ok

xxxxxxx
Add a Comment:
 
:icontherealme1996:
TheRealMe1996 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
holy shit. this is literally the best poem i have ever read!!!!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013   General Artist
wow, thats really kind of you to say so. You just made my day :)

thank you!
Reply
:icontherealme1996:
TheRealMe1996 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
your welcome. and i look forward to reading more of your literary work.
Reply
:iconenlightenedenigma:
EnlightenedEnigma Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes it is important to save yourself for the one.. I believe a bit differently however. I believe to save yourself for your TRUE love. I've been in love but only once was I ever TRULY inlove and it was my honor to give myself to him even though now I will never see him again... Never regret because your first time is beautiful.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013   General Artist
Yeah, I do agree. I think I was just writing this as I was frustrated at too many young people feeling pressured into doing something because they thought it was the thing to do. It seems to be getting more and more cool for boys and girls to sleep around and talk about how many people they have been with. I just wanted to say that actually it can be cool to wait for someone really special too :)

thanks for reading and for the comment :)
Reply
:icontijonwolfsmajestys:
TijonWolfsMajestys Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This is beautiful. I wish more people thought like this. Only one of my friends does, and in the end one is enough to help you stand up to the others. Great work :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012   General Artist
:) glad you enjoyed it and glad you have a friend who will back you up

thanks for the comment :)
Reply
:icontijonwolfsmajestys:
TijonWolfsMajestys Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Youre welcome :)
Reply
:icondiamondindisguise:
diamondindisguise Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012
I really like this poem and relates so well in our time and age, beautifully written as always :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
aww thank you :) Really nice to hear you liked it
Reply
:iconmexicanpedo:
mexicanpedo Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
This is so very beautifully written.
We agree 100%!
And we definitely want to do something related to this! We'll see what we can do :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012   General Artist
aww thank you :)

I cant wait to see what you do :)
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
I love the concept it is a very good piece but I also think you could make more impact if you could make at rhyme a bit more .. but other wise a very fantastic job !
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
thank you very much for the comment and the feedback :)
Reply
:iconnoorelven:
noorelven Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012
your most welcome :D
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student General Artist
What makes me really sad is how young exactly this happens. I indirectly know a girl who got pregnant before she turned 13. And that's not even the youngest I've heard of. I think you're poem is really really good.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
thats so crazily young. That has to be a total lack of education. Having said that i dont think we even had started sex education by that age
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student General Artist
I know. it's so sad.
Reply
:iconcorinatanase:
CorinaTanase Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Good opinion [I share it]. I wish more people think and take attitude like you. :) Thank you for this !
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
and thank you for reading it and commenting too :)
Reply
:iconwithinmeloveresides1:
withinmeloveresides1 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Writer
Beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconhourglassoflosttime:
HourglassOfLostTime Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
Well written. I thought it was a song at first. It may become one, it would be pretty cool.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   General Artist
yeah, I might think about that :)

thanks for the comment :)
Reply
:iconhourglassoflosttime:
HourglassOfLostTime Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
Promise? 1,~
I've hook-up if you're interested
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012   General Artist
:) i am actually a songwriter first and poet second but thank you anyway, its really cool of you
Reply
:iconhourglassoflosttime:
HourglassOfLostTime Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
I meant hook-ups in the sense of making a demo, if you're interested. It's pretty awesome, your song.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
thats really cool of you, thanks. I will let you know. I in UK though :)
Reply
:iconhourglassoflosttime:
HourglassOfLostTime Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
I live in Florida. There's always e-mail to communicate perhaps?
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012   General Artist
yeah, it could work. Will let you know :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpapership-lonewalker:
Greatness seem to belong to this poem this time again
Really good one !
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   General Artist
thats really kind of you to say so, thanks :)
Reply
:iconchristianonfire7:
Christianonfire7 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely beautiful piece! I love it! Well done!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconchristianonfire7:
Christianonfire7 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)
Reply
:iconmewpocky:
MewPocky Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
I understand this... and as an 18 year old, I agree it is very hard. Well, technically. For me, it's actually easier when I'm with my friends, or in public, because there is a code of conduct in public with I follow strictly. As for being alone with a boyfriend or girlfriend... well it's almost impossible. 100 times harder. I have respect for people who can say NO NO NO.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   General Artist
yeah, i can imagine its tough when there is such a high level of attraction there. Like you said, it takes alot to say no.

Each situation is different really.

I worry about the young people who feel forced into it either by peer pressure, media or their partner :)

thanks for commenting :)
Reply
:iconmewpocky:
MewPocky Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Yeah.
No, don't thank me for commenting. I thank YOU for writing such a wonderful piece for us on DA to read!!
Reply
:iconnekokosaki:
nekokosaki Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
this poem ...i love it ^^ it really speaks to me in ways only a poem/song writer would.your very talented,i really like how you take real world drama situations and calm the minds of others when you write things like this:dalove: very nice job =D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   General Artist
its really nice to hear that you found it calming.

I know for many years i have felt lost in situations and like no one would understand. So its really cool to show people that others have been in every situation you will go through. They have come out the other side, just like you will :)

thank you for commenting :)
Reply
:iconkorosu-sienne:
Korosu-Sienne Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
One suggested alteration to the poem if you want people to not assume the subject is female would be an alteration to this line "The pressure he will put upon you, Or the pressure you will put onto him." Although the poem could be about a gay man, it's more likely to assume it's about a woman at that point. If you change it from he/him to "they/them," you are less likely to be misunderstood (although only minimally less likely, given the heated topic).

That said it's just a suggestion :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   General Artist
you are right actually lol. I put that hoping to suggest it was male or female. but since reading it i realised both ways it gives the impression its a woman.

haha i scan through the poem so much for spelling mistakes i forget to check the actual content :D

thanks again :)
Reply
:icon7r41n3d3rr0r157:
7R41N3D3RR0R157 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The more I understand the idea of sinning and regret, the more I don't feel the need to really comment. A poem about trying to convince the girl that waiting would be in her best interest not just in her conscience, but when she looks back and found out that the reason she does what she does is due to those who control what she does with her "gift". Nicely written, man. I have a question.

Nowadays, this idea of the "one" is easy to imagine, but as youget as old as 20, it becomes kind of hard to find that one. Once we think we have, he or she is gone, and we wind up having no idea as to who is supposed to fill this role. So, perhaps, the reason this woman is doing it is because she gave up on the idea of fining the one? Or maybe the wait is just too long? Or perhaps she was coaxed into beliving that whomever talks her into it is that one? It's a role and a concept that I think warrants plenty of future poems. You think?
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   General Artist
you are right i think :) Its so hard to understand what 'the one' is. It can be ever changing i think. Like you could meet someone today who makes you feel something that you have never felt before. Then next year you could meet someone who you feel more for.

Its probably written personally because I have met someone this year who has changed my view on love. I used to think love was just liking someone alot. Then i met someone special and for the first time ever i felt connection. I have had no luck with girls at all and i am 32. I never could even imagine myself with a girl because it would have felt awkward. I would have felt like i was acting. This year i met someone though who everthing just slots into place with. It sounds like a cliche but she has changed me, in a good way. Its like she has woke me up in a way :)

Sorry for going off topic haha.

Again, i do agree with you. People could waste their entire life waiting for the one, while everyone else around them is having fun. lol i keep rhyming.

anyway, thanks so much for the comment and taking time to read the poem :)
Reply
:iconkingatguardian:
KingatGuardian Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Digital Artist
More people should read this poem, you sir have amazed me once again congratulations! It seriously ticks me off though when there are people in this world that take the word "virgin" and use it as an insult. I have the right to remain the way I am until I marry my future husband. And I'm saving it ONLY for him.
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012   General Artist
thanks for the comment on the poem :) and its great to hear you are so focused and determined on saving yourself for the right one, your husband :)

I too get annoyed when people use 'virgin' as an insult. It even happened in school when I was there, and that was quite a while ago :D
Reply
:iconbrowncoatmando:
BrowncoatMando Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist
As it should be. I don't mean to pry into your personal life(my apoolgies if I am), but good for you. standing up to the pressure to be someone you don't want to be.
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:iconkingatguardian:
KingatGuardian Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Thanks BrowncoatMando! Don't worry your not prying. I can tell from the Romans verse in your comment that you are a fellow Christian! It's great to find fellow Christians on this site.
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:iconbrowncoatmando:
BrowncoatMando Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist
Thank you for the watch.

as a fellow christian can you let me know what you think of a few things? Thank you for any comments you feel like leaving.
[link]

[link]

[link]
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:iconmysocksrock:
MySocksRock Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Very true words. You know, people may be angry that you wrote this but personally, I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to read it.
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