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:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


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Writing by SecretlyFading

Poems by NykiiLynn


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Submitted on
December 7, 2012
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874 bytes
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512
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34 (who?)
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27
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This is a declaration
I plan to do you some harm
Beware of the man with green eyes
Somebody raise the alarm

If only it were that simple
Into the shadows I will go
Hearts pound at such a rapid rate
Pulsating veins will explode

This a declaration
A statement of my intent
I have done some very bad things
Watch closer as I repent

Such a facile notion
That I can commit any sin
And beg for absolution
Before I begin again

This is a declaration
I am addicted to death
Fascinated by the feeling
Of taking your last breath

Such a beautiful moment
Your gaze seals an eternal bond
Envious of where you're going
As you rise to the great beyond
xxxxxxx
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnightlynxness:
nightlynxness Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
He may have done some very bad things, but this is an extremely good poem--twisted and beautiful.
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013   General Artist
thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconmidnightdarkest:
MidnightDarkest Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
But being a daydreamer is hard
of that I must confess
for we must live in this world
fighting for every breath
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012   General Artist
:) poetic comments, i like it. Thank you!
Reply
:iconofelialoov:
ofelialoov Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This poem is awesome, but I just wanna point out something I was confused about:

"Such a facile notion
That I can commit any sin
And beg for absolution
Before I begin again"

"Sin" and "again" doesn't rhyme very well, but begin and sin does. Did you put the words in the wrong order or is it suppose to be this way? Sorry if this offended you in anyway, not my intention. I was simply curious... :)
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012   General Artist
hello :) thanks for the comment.

The order of the words is how it was supposed to be :)

I think its probably something to do with how different people pronounce words. I do agree that sin and begin do rhyme much better, but it was necessary to put the 'again' in otherwise it wouldnt have made sense :)

thanks again for your comment and I definitely wasn't offended
Reply
:iconofelialoov:
ofelialoov Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Okay, I see. :)

Thanks for replying! :)
Reply
:iconsoraismysky:
SoraIsMySky Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Every time I stop by and read your poems they get better and better. Congratulations on that, Col!! :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   General Artist
aww thanks Dessy :D

how have you been anyway? are you excited about Christmas??

:hug:
Reply
:iconsoraismysky:
SoraIsMySky Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
I am SO excited! I'm getting my Sora wig for Metro '13, and my uncle just told me he's coming down from NY for Mega '13!! It's going to be GREAT!!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012   General Artist
aww thats great! :) Sounds like you have some exciting plans. Hope you take plenty of photos :)

If i dont speak to you again before Christmas, I hope you have a wonderful time :)
Reply
:iconsoraismysky:
SoraIsMySky Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student General Artist
I'll post some, most definitely.
I hope your Christmas is super great as well. :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012   General Artist
:) thank you and thanks for the faves too :hug:
Reply
:iconsoraismysky:
SoraIsMySky Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student General Artist
No problem, Col! :D xx
Reply
:iconmexicanpedo:
mexicanpedo Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
This is so interesting.
The last stanza really reminds me of [link] :D

Love it!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   General Artist
It's not surprising really as more and more recently I keep coming to your page and just sitting looking through. Your whole gallery is interesting and makes me want to look at it. Whenever I click on some of your artwork i always spend time looking at it rather than just going on to the next image. They draw me in :)

So I definitely had this image and others of yours buzzing through my mind when I wrote this :)
Reply
:iconmysocksrock:
MySocksRock Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
*sigh*
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   General Artist
*sighs simultaneously with you*

what we sighing about? :D lol
Reply
:iconmysocksrock:
MySocksRock Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Life
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:iconcuriouscoon:
curiouscoon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
so creepy but so beautiful. you did an excellent job writing this.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   General Artist
thanks so much :) I always seem to channel a creepy side to my personality when writing. I am actually quite a nice person :D i promise lol
Reply
:iconcuriouscoon:
curiouscoon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I don't doubt that, lol
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Where are the comments, this is worthy. Wonderful.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   General Artist
thank you so much :) As long as it touches one person it makes it worthwhile me writing it :)
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I see the favourites but no one talks about it. We need to talk about it.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012   General Artist
Yeah, I have to be honest that I do like feedback as I am relatively new to poetry.
Reply
:iconiampoetry:
iamPoetry Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
As do I.
Reply
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