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:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


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Literature by Thoughtful-Writer

Writing by SecretlyFading

Great Words by CalleighBlack


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Submitted on
August 7, 2013
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1,450
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Everything that my right hand has ever written
Comes from the heart and mind of a boy that is cursed
So from now on I’ll learn to write with my left hand
In hope not expectation that this curse will be reversed

And then I shall sit in front of an open fire
Unflinching as each flame licks closer to my face
Not close enough though so it could swallow me whole
But just close enough so that it can have a taste

Of the beads of regret in my perspiration
That are forming and rolling down my furrowed brow
From a wildfire mind that is now out of control
Come thoughts that these damp morals fail to disallow

Everything that my right hand has ever written
Might as well have been scribed in invisible ink
With my thoughts being a vessel on a voyage of hope
And the weight of my memories causing it to sink

Right down to the depths of the deepest ocean floor
And left down there to rot beneath the sea bed
I thank the Lord that they’ll remain out of reach
And that none of the words I’ve written will be read

Please furnish me with proof that this curse can be lifted
And that my creativity has some meaning
Or I’ll furnish you with the pen from my left hand
And I will fall asleep without ever again dreaming
realityisfarlessexciting
Add a Comment:
 
:iconleft-handed-artist:
Left-Handed-Artist Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Student General Artist
This is so pretty, I could cr-

*cries*
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013   General Artist
aww, thank you for the comment :)
Reply
:iconleft-handed-artist:
Left-Handed-Artist Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013  Student General Artist
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconsyguy2013:
SyGuy2013 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have not yet read this, but I am faving it so that I can clean out my envelope as it is in the thousands. I will read this when I can. If I like it, I will keep it faved, and let you know.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013   General Artist
:) ah thats ok, thanks
Reply
:iconryna63:
Ryna63 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
love your writing style :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you so much for saying so
Reply
:iconryna63:
Ryna63 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Student General Artist
This is really wonderful. I Absolutely love the second stanza. "Just close enough so that it can have a taste." that's so great!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you Kerry! Really happy that you liked it :)
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Student General Artist
^_^ Of course I do. You are a brilliant writer.
Reply
:iconextinguished-light:
extinguished-light Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i really love your writing style ;U; this is great
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013   General Artist
thank you very much! :)
Reply
:iconwelcomepoke:
WelcomePoke Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Well done <3
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013   General Artist
thank you :) <3
Reply
:iconravendehartfox:
RavenDehartFox Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Beautiful with such elegance. Heart 
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconpietroschek:
Pietroschek Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty good work of prose! 
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013   General Artist
thank you! I appreciate it :)
Reply
:iconpietroschek:
Pietroschek Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:-)
Reply
:iconcalleighblack:
CalleighBlack Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"Not close enough though so it could swallow me whole
But just close enough so that it can have a taste"
This is the fantasticness. I love it.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013   General Artist
:) glad you liked that part. Thanks for reading and commenting :)
Reply
:iconlapulta:
Lapulta Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I am truly impressed by your prose. I'm not a bit poetry fan and most of the pieces I read I don't enjoy, but this really caught my ear and my eye. Please, continue with your right hand. :) I, for one, will listen. :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013   General Artist
that is kind of you to say. I am glad it caught your ear and eye :)

thank you!
Reply
:iconlapulta:
Lapulta Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. I hope you continue writing. :)
Reply
:iconwinter995:
Winter995 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
Your curse has been lifted with my lurve <3
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
aww I am forever in your debt! :D

thank you so much for the comment
Reply
:iconnightlynxness:
nightlynxness Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
Your poems always bloom surreal and beautiful scenes in my head... I really like this one
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
:) that is so nice to hear :) Thats what i love about this site. You can write something in one part of the world and someone over the other side of the world can be touched by it :)
Reply
:iconnightlynxness:
nightlynxness Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013
Indeed, the wonders of technology... *sigh*
Reply
:iconkohakulove:
kohakulove Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
I think the varied length and rhythm  actually support the emotion of the words, conflicted and stressful emotions that seem to fit the flickering fire metaphor really well. I for one am very impressed!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
thank you :) It seems to have divided people from the comments I have received. I am glad you enjoyed it :)
Reply
:iconkohakulove:
kohakulove Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
That's what really good poetry does: it gives people opinions!
Reply
:iconmrs-saxobeat:
Mrs-SaxoBeat Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree with the comment below, as the stanzas vary in length and rhythm in a way that makes it difficult to read. On the other hand, this is a well-thought-out and expressive piece of work with a nice balance of prose and simplicity :) Well done.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
I try hard to make them as easy to read as possible. Thinking about syllable count etc. It is a very simple way of doing things but I am relatively new to this :)

I thank you for your critique and comment :)
Reply
:iconmrs-saxobeat:
Mrs-SaxoBeat Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely, glad it was received well! :)
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

I think this is some good heartfelt emotions here.

The poetic element of a consistent pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables needs to be strengthened to make this a polished piece.

Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
thank you for your comment. I will take the things you have said on board :)
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:salute:
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Very, very interesting and extremely creative. :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
thank you! I really appreciate it :)
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure. :)
Reply
:iconvaleriecfrechmann:
ValerieCFrechmann Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This was awesome. :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:icontara-the-brave:
Tara-the-Brave Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow this is really good.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you very much
Reply
:icontara-the-brave:
Tara-the-Brave Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome. (:
Reply
:iconthemask02:
TheMask02 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Student General Artist
.. it can 

















with my help...
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013   General Artist
yay! we should have a hug to celebrate lol :hug:

thank you for reading and commenting!
Reply
:iconthemask02:
TheMask02 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Student General Artist
xD  ur welcome :hug:
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