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I am afraid because I know
That I will never arrive
At a point where I am nourished
And emotionally satisfied

So to regulate my mood
I consume levels that disgrace
They suppose that this is greed
That assumption is misplaced

I’m addicted to the feeling
The short term stimulation
But that only makes me more prone
To those feelings of deflation

And stomach cramps and pains
Loose skin hanging from my bones
Eyes sinking into my skull
And those deathly grey skin tones

Will I ever fill the hole
Silence those voices for a while
I prepare my gut for sorrow
While I am spoon fed on denial

But life’s too much to digest
An acid reflux episode
Regurgitate my memories
Before my stomach explodes

In a culture such as ours
The blame lays nowhere but my plate
I chose the fats, sugars and salts
The impossible target weight

Now I’m afraid because I know
The end has already arrived
In the form of this addiction
To a staple we need to survive
7x
Add a Comment:
 
:iconselfloathingfuck:
selfloathingfuck Featured By Owner May 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. This really hit me. You captured how difficult this issue is to struggle with, it's as if I'm reading my own thoughts. Brilliant work.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner May 12, 2013   General Artist
thank you so much. It is something i struggle with so the words were easy to find :)

I appreciate your comment :)
Reply
:iconselfloathingfuck:
selfloathingfuck Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It truly is a beautiful piece. Thank you for writing this. Really.
Reply
:iconsaveaceofspades:
SaveAceOfSpades Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Woah.

I'm not an easy crier, but this brought a tear to my eyes. The figurative language in this is phenomenal. It's so in depth it almost twines around itself. So beautiful, Dear. Keep up the great works.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you for such a lovely comment. Really glad it touched you as I put a lot of my real emotions and experiences into it.
Reply
:iconsaveaceofspades:
SaveAceOfSpades Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the lovely writing! I always enjoy reading your works.
Reply
:iconkatrinamar13:
katrinamar13 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I have struggled with this myself. I believe you wrote beautifully about a topic that is hard for some people to talk about with others.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013   General Artist
I am sorry to hear that but I'm really grateful for you reading this poem and commenting on it :)

thank you.
Reply
:iconkatrinamar13:
katrinamar13 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's not something most people choose as a topic for the most beautiful art form. So I applaud you for that.
Reply
:iconnightlynxness:
nightlynxness Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
I prepare my gut for sorrow
While I am spoon fed on denial

But life’s too much to digest
An acid reflux episode
Regurgitate my memories
Before my stomach explodes

Personally, that was my favourite part ^^
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013   General Artist
:) glad you liked that part.

thansks for the comment!
Reply
:iconthelusir:
theLUsir Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Great imagery and metaphor use! I can "feel" the pain being portrayed and my initial reaction is to encourage and comfort. Great conveyance of feelings. :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013   General Artist
thank you :) Glad the feelings came across.
Reply
:iconblue-disciple:
Blue-Disciple Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013
This is amazing. You're amazing!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconreina-dono:
reina-dono Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
wow,
this speaks to me, I've always been heavy
but it makes it think of my bulimic cuzn too
really touching
brava
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
yeah, i have always struggled too with my weight. I think people who havent find it hard to understand what it is like for us

thanks for the comment :)
Reply
:iconwithflowersinherhair:
WithFlowersInHerHair Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I got tears in my eyes, I'm on recovery but it's so hard
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
yeah, it is. Very hard to struggle with food when its something you need to survive.

thanks for reading this and commenting, I really appreciate it in every way :)
Reply
:iconlilgummybear:
LILGUMMYBEAR Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student
Wow.Amazing
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconkaestarr:
kaestarr Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
I feel like this everyday. Thank you for this,I am not alone.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
yeah, you are definitely not alone :hug:

thank you for reading and commenting :)
Reply
:iconthecrazymagnet:
thecrazymagnet Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   Writer
Really powerful. I love the phrase "life's too much to digest", especially in context. Beautiful work, and stay strong. :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
thank you :) And I will :hug:
Reply
:iconanotherdreamfighter:
anotherdreamfighter Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This hurt and hit so incredibly close to home.. it took me a moment to regain myself after reading this. It's a lovely piece, very well done. I'll go find myself a tissue for my eyes.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
:icontissuesplz: There are some tissues :)

Thank you for reading and commenting. I really do appreciate it.
Reply
:iconanotherdreamfighter:
anotherdreamfighter Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem at all. <3
Reply
:iconbroken-blues:
Broken-Blues Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
this is amazing (: i can relate to it in a way too, and i love your use of word play and don't wander off from the theme (: you're so pro at it lol :tighthug:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
:hug: aww thank you. It's so good to see your seeing as we havent spoke for soooo long :o

good to have you back :D
Reply
:iconlucyjewel:
lucyjewel Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconlucyjewel:
lucyjewel Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah! No prroblem! I think this is an amazing poem! Also because people can relate to this you kno? Anyways, you r so talented!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
aww thats very nice of you to say so. It helps me putting things like this out there. Getting comments back makes me realise others go through these things like i have been :)
Reply
:iconlucyjewel:
lucyjewel Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i know right! i think we all love receiving comments and stuff! especially nice ones :D. I hate mean ones... anyways, im glad u replied cuz most dont :). ok u might think im desprate but I LOOOOOOOOOVE looking at my messages and reading my replies! thats what i do most here in DA lol. so yeah. I hope u r having a nice day! i kinda am having a good day. i just cant wait for FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need a break.... lol yeah....
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
aww I will always reply :) Its the least i can do.

You have a nice gallery by the way, I am watching you now.

Almost Friday, almost weekend! :D
Reply
:iconlucyjewel:
lucyjewel Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks u so much for the watch! Im like very happy right now! U made my day! And thanks for checking out my gallery :):D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013   General Artist
aww it was my pleasure. You have a really nice gallery and are very good at what you do :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconangelswolf121:
angelswolf121 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Poems aren't typically my thing - but this? I know that feel, right there. It's something that I can most certainly relate to - the rhyme is good and you did a beautiful job with the figurative language.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, especially when you arent really into poems. It means alot :)
Reply
:iconangelswolf121:
angelswolf121 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconmooki-blaylock:
Mooki-Blaylock Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Professional General Artist
good p[oem cool!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
thanks! :)
Reply
:icondevoneaton:
DevonEaton Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You never cease to amaze. I thought I was pretty good, but I clearly still have a lot to learn.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
You are really good :) I still think I have alot to learn too.

thanks again and have a great day!
Reply
:iconlevitating-narwhal:
Levitating-Narwhal Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Student General Artist
:iconthisplz: I don't even have the words to describe this! Nothing fits besides GOBSMACKED! The rhym! The wording! The figurative language!:iconamazingplz:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
:) glad you liked it! thank you very much
Reply
:iconlevitating-narwhal:
Levitating-Narwhal Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student General Artist
No problem. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Reply
:iconolivia-holmes:
Olivia-Holmes Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like the psychological aspect of this.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
thank you, and thanks for the fave too :)
Reply
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