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The Deepest Depths of BlueThe chain of events that followed your birth
Were as tumultuous as each twisted link
Your mind was wired for the written word
But under no circumstances should you think

As the decreasing circles of sanity
Will ripple through your infant mind
The soul can't escape your hollow bones
Until you leave those thoughts behind

You feel trapped inside your grey matter
But freedom will be yours in the end
Once you realise that you are a miracle
That'll never be repeated again

Open your eyes to the beauty of the truth
That there is a reality worth seeing
And dive into the deepest depths of blue
Of your soul, your essence, your being
Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my life
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write

Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write

You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a t
An Ode To A SmileOf late there has been something missing
From my visage, my mien and my face
My adult self not able to regain
What it is my childhood has misplaced

The absence has become more apparent
And is there for the assemblage to see
But as it did not happen over night
The origin remains a mystery

Could it be the colour and the tone
Of my sallow skin pigmentation
From too many hours indoors alone
And within my imagination

Perhaps I should pierce my ear and nose
Rebel against a faceless system
Or indeed tattoo text upon my neck
Quoting some so-called ancient wisdom

I could iron out all of the creases
Nip and tuck on my pronounced cheek bones
But thi
God GivenThe crack became a crevice
The crevice became a hole
Invited my mortal remains
To part company with my soul

God has given me these hands
To create beautiful art
It's not for me to say when
This earthly plane I shall depart

The tears became a torrent
The torrent became a flood
I was drowning in sorrow
I sought the buoyancy of good

God has given me these thoughts
To stimulate and inspire
With rhetorical reasoning
Until my bones can retire

The thought became a feeling
The feeling became the truth
Faith alone was now enough
Beyond the search for proof

God has given me this mind
So who am I to question
When He has granted me
Tragic AuthorI’m looking forward to being a tragic author
I’ll sit on a cloud with no silver lining
And become the male equivalent of a spinster
With words as my spouse and books as my offspring

At least then it is I who will control the outcome
For the lives of my heroes and heroines
And since I’ll not be afforded a happy ending
The least I can do is to give one to them

The Lord said ‘no’ to my happily ever after
Perhaps to inspire my imagination
A hollowed out heart is an ideal home after all
For my mind’s perpetual inspiration

I’m looking forward to being a tragic author
I’m such a devoted, hopeless ro
I Was In A Bad PlaceI’ll indite my crude and clumsy rhymes
From my place in the pitch dark
And will wait all night if needs must
For that one creative spark

That will manifest thoughts in my mind
Into a charged lightning bolt
Strike my memories, open my wounds
And let writing be my salt

So cut me and see the metaphors
Floating around my blood stream
Pour salt on the literal lesions
To punctuate my primal scream

As painful at first as the memory
But after the initial sting
Wounds will heel, leaving only scars
Numbness replaces everything

This lack of feeling is temporary
As a writer I live for the pain
Of opening up new abrasions
To keep me lucid and sa
Letters LiveThe middle three letters of the word “Earth”
Spell out the word “art”
This is fitting because when I create
The beauty of the world is where I start

The middle three letters of the word “believe”
Spell out the word “lie”
This is fitting because for all those who accede
There are an equal amount who deny

The middle three letters of the word “lonely”
Spell out the word “one”
This is fitting because I have felt isolated
Ever since you have been gone

The middle two letters of the word “life”
Spell out the word “if”
This is fitting because only when
Sharpen Your PencilSharpen your pencil
Dip your pen in the well
Show the world your vision
Through the story you tell

There's no right or wrong
So don't listen to critique
Your story alone is enough
So beautifully unique

And only you can tell it
Your version of events
Write it, sing it, paint it
Release, express and vent

Sharpen your pencil
Dip your pen in the well
And with your own wise words
Those ghosts you will repel

Please be true to yourself
No embellishment required
Every inferno was once
But a flicker of fire

So fan those fiery flames
And refuse to walk in line
As experience will grow
Through the passage of time
When I Was 13I am just a little boy in a grown man’s shell
Who finds himself lost in a daydream
That my mind manifested one Monday morning
On the cusp of being aged thirteen

Sitting on a plastic chair in a stale classroom
Looking out of the rain lashed window
Thoughts turn to the length of my imagination
And indeed what distance it could go

I was snapped back to reality as always
With my tank topped teacher's booming cry
This was not the first, nor would it be the last time
I would find myself preoccupied

Classmates around me may live their life linear
Like most people who have gone before
But I can’t see the point of a mind’s vast la
Beautifully Flawed Wild AnimalsAs a child I was kicked by a horse
While approaching from behind
It knocked me clean across the stable
This fragile framed boy of nine
I tried so hard to be strong and brave
And as Mother wiped my tears away
All I could think was I must return
To the stable the very next day

I barely slept a wink that night
For thinking about the steed
And how the doctor said I‘d be dead
If hoof had hit below my knee
Running my hand over the horseshoe
That was bruised onto my thigh
I felt a very real connection
Between the animal and I

Mother woke me as dawn broke
Asked if I still wanted to go
To visit the scene of the crime
To visit my equus foe
I n
Life Is An Intravenous DripLife is an intravenous drip
With no transfusion of blood
Instead it slowly relieves me
Of a mind that once was good

Administering paranoia
Directly from the drip chamber
Suffocating me with terror
When there is no imminent danger

Life is an intravenous drip
I am fascinated by my veins
And curious as to which one
Carries the blood to my brain

Which causes the unwanted impulse
For me to question every answer
Tourniquet that varicose vessel
Curiosity is my cancer

Life is an intravenous drip
Of that I am A positive
My blood remains optimistic
So why am I so negative

I see no saline solution
Just diminishing vital signs
As my sanity transfuse
RemedyA chemical reaction
Akin to the wings of a dove
You feel a karmic wind change
From this feeling called love

As I unfurl my wings
To the plague in your heart
I am your remedy
Now the healing can start

A spiritual moment
A timely epiphany
Everything in its right place
Just as it's meant to be

As I unfurl my wings
To the plague in your mind
Within the darkest caverns
I will bring you sunshine

A healing process
We will soothe each other's sores
My love, you are my life line
As much as I am yours

As we spread our arms
Two souls embrace as one
Your remedy is my cure
And our symptoms are now gone
Target WeightI am afraid because I know
That I will never arrive
At a point where I am nourished
And emotionally satisfied

So to regulate my mood
I consume levels that disgrace
They suppose that this is greed
That assumption is misplaced

I’m addicted to the feeling
The short term stimulation
But that only makes me more prone
To those feelings of deflation

And stomach cramps and pains
Loose skin hanging from my bones
Eyes sinking into my skull
And those deathly grey skin tones

Will I ever fill the hole
Silence those voices for a while
I prepare my gut for sorrow
While I am spoon fed on denial

But life’s too much to digest
An acid reflux ep
England Is HellI’m lying here on a steel framed bed
Pitch black, solitarily confined
A lost soul living out a sentence
That is appropriate for my crime

My pen once again confiscated
Eyes are closed, they leave me to rot
Confiscate my imagination
Those damn fools most certainly can not

Familiar with the words and grammar
Indeed how to construct a sentence
But I lie here in my six by eight
Unable to convey repentance

See my withered heart lies elsewhere
This island nation suffocates me
May the xenophobic, narrow minds
Sink without trace in to the sea
Whatever Is To DoWe were ever so worried
When we found the knotted noose
And scribbled diary entries
With tales of self abuse

Teenage tears and tantrums
Can easily be explained
But what on earth would cause these
Freshly dripped blood stains

We were ever so worried
When you locked yourself in your room
Painted the walls pitch black
And ignorantly we assumed

That this was just a phase
That it would soon come to pass
And pass it indeed did do
Far too soon and far too fast

We were ever so worried
When you dyed black your hair
No longer did we recognise
The child that was once here

Our precious little angel
Where did your shaken bones go
And
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More from *Rifle1980

The Outlook Is BleakOh, woe is me, the outlook is bleak
As bleak as the moors in the midwinter
As bleak as the balsa wood splinter
That’s imbedded deep in to my finger

As I run my calloused hands softly
Over your recently polished casket
Bow my head beneath the church steeple
Dismiss thoughts that are iconoclastic

Oh, woe is me, the outlook is grim
My routine’s based solely on surviving
Goodness me, my ambition’s been crushed
While their great expectations are rising

Just like the high rise, brutalist flats
And the tormented tenement buildings
A concrete encapsulated fate
Scrapes the skies of the dreams of my children

Oh, woe is me, the ou
Homosexuality BitesThey found me slumped over in the school showers
With a towel loosely wrapped around my waist
Scalding hot water was blistering my skin
As I bled from an unspeakable place

A hard-handed teacher dragged me to my feet
With little or no sign of sympathy
For the bruising to my feeble framed ribcage
And the fractures to my identity

I think they all thought that I had it coming
As no one was willing to testify
That the sodomy inflicted upon me
Was something to which I hadn’t complied

Boisterous boys laughing in the corridors
As I shamefully limped throughout the day
Not a thought for the pain that was inflicted
Just worried for what my pa
Suicide Is Not An OptionI find myself weaving the final stitches
Of a noose I have been working on for a while
I swore I’d use it by the time it was complete
If me and my sanity hadn’t reconciled

Each thread representing a flawed emotion
Which tightly woven together makes up my life
If you’re the one to cut me down from the rafters
Love, patience and understanding must be your knife

I find myself with a gun in my right hand
With only one bullet left in the cold chamber
I hand the loaded pistol with safety off
Blindly in to the hands of a complete stranger

Does this represent me opening my heart
And risking a life of abject, dismal sorrow
This Go
UxoricideI find myself stood above my sleeping beauty
Her perfume fragranced pillow clenched in my hand
I’m counting each of her breaths down from ten to one
Then I’ll smother my silked skinned lover as planned
It’s for the best this way as no blood shall be shed
Just that of my erratically beating heart
My feelings I dismiss, I plant a farewell kiss
Upon her furrowed forehead as she departs

Oh my darling, why did you weave this web of lies
And why did you bring in to question my trust
Catapulting us from the innocence of love
In to such unbearable levels of lust
How on earth do I maintain this downward pressure
On your winsome face
Can't Find JoyI stole the smiles from both of my parent’s faces
The very same one I was responsible for
On the day I was delivered into their arms
In a cloth, from the beak of a black feathered stork

From the very first day with my very first breath
Though I was not able to speak a single word
It was evident as the nurses bowed their heads
That this boy with the dilated pupils was cursed

Everything I’ve ever grown to love and desire
In one way or another I have now destroyed
Yet still I have the temerity to question
Why it is that I can never seem to find joy

I stole the smiles from both of my parent’s faces
I would do anything at all
Fads and TrendsWhatever makes them popular today
Will be the death of them tomorrow
With looks like that they can say anything
And their insecure flock will follow

Run for your life, break away from the flock
Grow a back bone and do your own thing
Fear not for the adverse consequences
Living a lie brings much more suffering

What these people consider ‘scene’ today
Will of course not be seen tomorrow
Image is just a temporary façade
And yet these blind fools seem to follow

Run for your life, break away from the flock
And sing only from your own hymm sheet
Form your own ideas and opinions
Don’t recite someone else’s beliefs

Featured in Groups:

:iconwritten-from-within: #written-from-within
Written From the Soul :icondark-emotions: #Dark-Emotions
DarkART :iconbleedingheartspoetry: #BleedingHeartsPoetry
A Poetry Club :iconthepoetryofda: #ThePoetryofDA
DA Poetry Club :iconsongofthepoets: #SongofthePoets
Get your rhyme on! :iconpoetry-book: #poetry-book
 :iconda-literature: #dA-Literature
Write to live, and live to write :iconthescribblists: #TheScribblists
Slight Writing Obsession...

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February 21
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Take Another Pill

:iconrifle1980:

When I was just a child
About twenty years back
I never would have thought
I would turn out like that
Or indeed like this
If I speak in the present tense
I guess I’m tense in the present
If that makes any sense

When I was at the mercy
Of the medical profession
They told me I was suffering
With clinical depression
And tapestries woven this tight
Into such an infant mind
Would be difficult to unspool
Unthread and leave behind

When I was just a boy
Around ten or so years back
I fell into a deep hole
But it felt more like a trap
I couldn’t get out of there
In fact I’m stuck here still
And all anyone can do
Is to prescribe another pill
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:iconmysticgirl-rage:
~Mysticgirl-Rage Mar 14, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Wow O.o what a talent
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Mar 15, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you so much. I appreciate you saying that.
Reply
:iconkuradesu:
Mood: Love ~KuraDesu Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's as if you are the master puppet playing with words. Standing ovation :hug:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Mar 5, 2013   General Artist
:D thank you for taking time to read my poems. It means alot to me.
Reply
:iconkuradesu:
~KuraDesu Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's nice to read artwork every now and then other than looking at it :)
Reply
:iconbunocerous:
~bunocerous Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, the syllable flow and rhythm, and the rhyme of the whole thing, and the content, this is all really good.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Feb 26, 2013   General Artist
thank you and thanks for the fave too :)
Reply
:iconnightlynxness:
~nightlynxness Feb 24, 2013
D: I truly sympathize. and empathize. But don't ever give up on happiness, or your dreams. Hang in there; even while stuck in that place, I believe you can still carve out a small haven. Still, there'll always be days that suck bad. But that's all the more reason to cherish the good times... You're not alone in this :hug:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Feb 24, 2013   General Artist
aww thank you. Very kind and beautiful words.

I really do appreciate all the comments you give me :hug:
Reply
:iconjiaroyale:
Mood: Sympathy ~JiaRoyale Feb 23, 2013  Student General Artist
I know the frustrations: the doctor wasn't even interested in my complaints or changing the prescription: only upped the dosage, again and again and again. It cost me my job, my GPA, almost my marriage. Finding a support group who'd been through the same helped a great deal: they'll talk about their side effects more than the doctors acknowledged it, and helped me recognize what I could handle and what I couldn't. Even therapies vary greatly: talk therapy actually made me worse, but cognitive-behavioral therapy helped a lot, and now I can be part of that support group, saying, "this is how this one works, this is how this one works." And I dumped that doctor and found one who's willing to work with me.
Reply
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