Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I tried so hard to pull away
At the end of the night when we kissed
But as you begged me once again to stay
I could taste suicide on your lips

And such an intoxicating fragrance
Far removed from the stench of death
Such a beautiful perfume of life
Of a lost girl hollow from neglect

Am I too late to save her my Lord
Will those lips ever smile again
When razorblade remedies are scarring
Her beautiful porcelain skin

You spoke of your sorrows till midnight
Then you slept in my arms until dawn
Awoke and cried tears until midday
For your past and your present you mourned

And when the last tear finally fell
I explained I'd never leave your side
Heartfelt words alone wouldn't do
I painted our future with pride

Together we created a masterpiece
A magnum opus beyond compare
I now kiss those lips on a basis daily
The taste of suicide is no longer there
..
Add a Comment:
 
:icongeorgiesummers:
GeorgieSummers Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is just so beautiful, all of your poems are so beautiful :') Just the phrase 'suicide on your lips' is incredible and thought provoking enough, but a whole poem... and the storyline with it too and the language, it's just breathtaking.
And I'm rambling lol x'D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014   General Artist
:) aww thank you.  I enjoy those sort of rambles though lol

I really do appreciate it :)
Reply
:icongeorgiesummers:
GeorgieSummers Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Continue to write fantastic poems like this, and you'll hear many more ahah

You're welcome lol xD
Reply
:iconpinkamainia:
pinkamainia Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It helps<33
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013   General Artist
Thanks for the comment and the other faves you have given me too :)
Reply
:iconpinkamainia:
pinkamainia Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np
I love your works :0
You're amazing at writing
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013   General Artist
that is very kind of you :)
Reply
:iconpinkamainia:
pinkamainia Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's true haha
Reply
:iconavonforest:
AvonForest Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
Your writing is seriously beautiful. It leaves me stunned. I hope I can gain a little bit of the talent you have by the time I'm older.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013   General Artist
oh that's so lovely of you to say so. Thank you :) And thanks for watching me too!
Reply
:iconnutkitten:
nutkitten Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
I love this! "I could taste the suicide on your lips" says so much. Very nicely written!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013   General Artist
thanks so much :) and thank you for the fave too!
Reply
:icongrnideladeee:
Grnideladeee Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
Love this..
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Is this a re-upload?
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
it might be, i lose track :)
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student General Artist
ha ha! I'm pretty sure it is.
Reply
:iconmexicanpedo:
mexicanpedo Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012
Everytime I stumble upon your work, I am nothing but stunned.
You're a true artist with words, a true master.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012   General Artist
its such a compliment, especialy coming from you.

I am criminally lazy when it comes to favouriting and commenting as i never know what to say but I always look forward to your deviations. They are always beautiful, provocative and evocative.

I always wonder who is actually behind your masterpieces. Is it one person??

you have lots of talent mexicanpedo :)
Reply
:iconmexicanpedo:
mexicanpedo Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Oh my, thankyouthankyouthankyou :hug:

We're extremely flattered to hear that from someone like you.
Yup, WE. Actually, we're two girls, mexicanpedo is a double account, Dzeneta and Lena. Now you know who's behind it ;)

[link]
Our ID shows the both of us, morphed into one person.
The brunette is Dzeneta, the blonde is Lena, me (the one who you're writing with atm :D )
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012   General Artist
oh at last the mystery is solved :D

I had seen that ID a while back. Infact i think i commented on it :)

Am I right in thinking you arent really from Zimbabwe? Germany maybe??

Anyway its really nice to meet you Lena. I really do enjoy yours and Dzenetas work.

Sometime in the new year i would love to write a poem maybe inspired by one of your deviations if that was ok. I feel there is a similarity in the themes we explore :)
Reply
:iconmexicanpedo:
mexicanpedo Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Yup, you did.

And yes, you're right, we're from Germany, that Zimbabwe thing is based on an inside joke, just like our username.

And its also nice to meet you, Mr Poet ;)

That would be amazing!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012   General Artist
lol I am glad your name is an inside joke :D

well i keep looking through your gallery and I will see what I can do. its not normally how I write but would be nice to try soemthing different :)
Reply
:icondarth-arthur:
Darth-Arthur Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Moving.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconstarlightcomet:
StarlightComet Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
nice, I like it. :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconstarlightcomet:
StarlightComet Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
no problem :3
Reply
:iconnykiilynn:
NykiiLynn Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
enraptured me from the very title :) <3
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012   General Artist
aww i always try and think of a title to draw people in and then hopefully once they have started reading they want to carry on, or not lol :)
Reply
:iconmockingjay1256:
MockingJay1256 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful. <3
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconmockingjay1256:
MockingJay1256 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)
Reply
:iconkedonsine:
kedonsine Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Those Times I Wish I Could Fave A Poet Or Gallery
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2012   General Artist
thats really very kind of you to say so, thanks :)
Reply
:iconfu-bu:
fu-bu Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Student Filmographer
greaaaat!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2012   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconelhh:
elHH Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
Wow amazing I loved it :D could I use that idea for a one-shot on fanfic it inspired me :D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012   General Artist
yeah, definitely. That would be cool :D

thanks for the comment!
Reply
:iconelhh:
elHH Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
Awww thank you and no prob ;p
Reply
:iconxilent-strawberry:
Xilent-Strawberry Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist
This is full of so much emotion~
My heart ached throughout the whole thing and I love how eerie the words are <3
:+fav: *favorites*
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012   General Artist
thanks for the nice comment and the fave too!

have a nice day :)
Reply
:iconxilent-strawberry:
Xilent-Strawberry Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist
You are welcome~
Thanks, you too c:
Reply
:iconampeugenie:
AMPEugenie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
aww I LOVed IT
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012   General Artist
:) thank you so much. I am glad
Reply
:icondariagallery:
DariaGALLERY Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
awww....i like this poem)
espesially this part :
And when the last tear finally fell
I explained I'd never leave your side
Heartfelt words alone wouldn't do
I painted our future with pride


beautiful and most needed words for those who in love)))))
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012   General Artist
aww yeah :) I can see why you would like that part. You're a superstar painter :)
Reply
:icondariagallery:
DariaGALLERY Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
hahahah)))))))))))) awwwwwwww)))) =) what a name you gave me))))
Reply
:iconmyloveforyoueternity:
MyLoveForYouEternity Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this alot :heart:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012   General Artist
:) thanks so much!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


Featured in Collections

Words by HerrTrauer

Poetry by xandra127

Literature by Dreamgifter


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 4, 2012
File Size
1.1 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,891
Favourites
472 (who?)
Comments
250
×