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Only When I WriteThe drama unfurling in my life
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write

Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write

You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a t

Whatever Is To DoWe were ever so worried
When we found the knotted noose
And scribbled diary entries
With tales of self abuse

Teenage tears and tantrums
Can easily be explained
But what on earth would cause these
Freshly dripped blood stains

We were ever so worried
When you locked yourself in your room
Painted the walls pitch black
And ignorantly we assumed

That this was just a phase
That it would soon come to pass
And pass it indeed did do
Far too soon and far too fast

We were ever so worried
When you dyed black your hair
No longer did we recognise
The child that was once here

Our precious little angel
Where did your shaken bones go
And

Take Another PillWhen I was just a child
About twenty years back
I never would have thought
I would turn out like that
Or indeed like this
If I speak in the present tense
I guess I’m tense in the present
If that makes any sense

When I was at the mercy
Of the medical profession
They told me I was suffering
With clinical depression
And tapestries woven this tight
Into such an infant mind
Would be difficult to unspool
Unthread and leave behind

When I was just a boy
Around ten or so years back
I fell into a deep hole
But it felt more like a trap
I couldn’t get out of there
In fact I’m stuck here still
And all anyone can do
Is to prescribe anot

Can't Find JoyI stole the smiles from both of my parent’s faces
The very same one I was responsible for
On the day I was delivered into their arms
In a cloth, from the beak of a black feathered stork

From the very first day with my very first breath
Though I was not able to speak a single word
It was evident as the nurses bowed their heads
That this boy with the dilated pupils was cursed

Everything I’ve ever grown to love and desire
In one way or another I have now destroyed
Yet still I have the temerity to question
Why it is that I can never seem to find joy

I stole the smiles from both of my parent’s faces
I would do anything at all

Tragic AuthorI’m looking forward to being a tragic author
I’ll sit on a cloud with no silver lining
And become the male equivalent of a spinster
With words as my spouse and books as my offspring

At least then it is I who will control the outcome
For the lives of my heroes and heroines
And since I’ll not be afforded a happy ending
The least I can do is to give one to them

The Lord said ‘no’ to my happily ever after
Perhaps to inspire my imagination
A hollowed out heart is an ideal home after all
For my mind’s perpetual inspiration

I’m looking forward to being a tragic author
I’m such a devoted, hopeless ro

Beautifully Flawed Wild AnimalsAs a child I was kicked by a horse
While approaching from behind
It knocked me clean across the stable
This fragile framed boy of nine
I tried so hard to be strong and brave
And as Mother wiped my tears away
All I could think was I must return
To the stable the very next day

I barely slept a wink that night
For thinking about the steed
And how the doctor said I‘d be dead
If hoof had hit below my knee
Running my hand over the horseshoe
That was bruised onto my thigh
I felt a very real connection
Between the animal and I

Mother woke me as dawn broke
Asked if I still wanted to go
To visit the scene of the crime
To visit my equus foe
I n

God GivenThe crack became a crevice
The crevice became a hole
Invited my mortal remains
To part company with my soul

God has given me these hands
To create beautiful art
It's not for me to say when
This earthly plane I shall depart

The tears became a torrent
The torrent became a flood
I was drowning in sorrow
I sought the buoyancy of good

God has given me these thoughts
To stimulate and inspire
With rhetorical reasoning
Until my bones can retire

The thought became a feeling
The feeling became the truth
Faith alone was now enough
Beyond the search for proof

God has given me this mind
So who am I to question
When He has granted me

Air BornI compare my parents courtship
To a plane taking to the sky
The ascent is the conception
Of me, my inner self and I

And should I survive the full term
From utero I shall emerge
As I jump from the aeroplane
Spiralling my way down to Earth

Descending through the atmosphere
I discern that this is my life
As the weather reflects my mood
From the sunshine to lightning strikes

The clouds they tend to come and go
As I tumble my way on through
A metaphor for life’s problems
Small dilemmas to big issues

But I choose not to close my eyes
As terra firma comes into sight
Even though death approaches me
At the unerring speed of life

If I open m

I Was In A Bad PlaceI’ll indite my crude and clumsy rhymes
From my place in the pitch dark
And will wait all night if needs must
For that one creative spark

That will manifest thoughts in my mind
Into a charged lightning bolt
Strike my memories, open my wounds
And let writing be my salt

So cut me and see the metaphors
Floating around my blood stream
Pour salt on the literal lesions
To punctuate my primal scream

As painful at first as the memory
But after the initial sting
Wounds will heel, leaving only scars
Numbness replaces everything

This lack of feeling is temporary
As a writer I live for the pain
Of opening up new abrasions
To keep me lucid and sa

Target WeightI am afraid because I know
That I will never arrive
At a point where I am nourished
And emotionally satisfied

So to regulate my mood
I consume levels that disgrace
They suppose that this is greed
That assumption is misplaced

I’m addicted to the feeling
The short term stimulation
But that only makes me more prone
To those feelings of deflation

And stomach cramps and pains
Loose skin hanging from my bones
Eyes sinking into my skull
And those deathly grey skin tones

Will I ever fill the hole
Silence those voices for a while
I prepare my gut for sorrow
While I am spoon fed on denial

But life’s too much to digest
An acid reflux ep

Life Is An Intravenous DripLife is an intravenous drip
With no transfusion of blood
Instead it slowly relieves me
Of a mind that once was good

Administering paranoia
Directly from the drip chamber
Suffocating me with terror
When there is no imminent danger

Life is an intravenous drip
I am fascinated by my veins
And curious as to which one
Carries the blood to my brain

Which causes the unwanted impulse
For me to question every answer
Tourniquet that varicose vessel
Curiosity is my cancer

Life is an intravenous drip
Of that I am A positive
My blood remains optimistic
So why am I so negative

I see no saline solution
Just diminishing vital signs
As my sanity transfuse

England Is HellI’m lying here on a steel framed bed
Pitch black, solitarily confined
A lost soul living out a sentence
That is appropriate for my crime

My pen once again confiscated
Eyes are closed, they leave me to rot
Confiscate my imagination
Those damn fools most certainly can not

Familiar with the words and grammar
Indeed how to construct a sentence
But I lie here in my six by eight
Unable to convey repentance

See my withered heart lies elsewhere
This island nation suffocates me
May the xenophobic, narrow minds
Sink without trace in to the sea

LightningHe was crying lightning
An impulse from the brain
Unable to ignite his bones
Only serving to drain

A sense of melancholy
For a poor boy so young
Each breath had become a curse
Not a gift from his lung

She was crying lightning
There was calm before the storm
In the eye of the hurricane
Her boy was never warned

A sense of compunction
As once again she rolled the dice
Not once doubting the idiom
Lightning never strikes twice

They were crying lightning
Protons and electrons collide
As she whispered her secrets
Into his ear she confides

A sense of duality
They caress each others spark
Yet they're no longer static
As they eme

RemedyA chemical reaction
Akin to the wings of a dove
You feel a karmic wind change
From this feeling called love

As I unfurl my wings
To the plague in your heart
I am your remedy
Now the healing can start

A spiritual moment
A timely epiphany
Everything in its right place
Just as it's meant to be

As I unfurl my wings
To the plague in your mind
Within the darkest caverns
I will bring you sunshine

A healing process
We will soothe each other's sores
My love, you are my life line
As much as I am yours

As we spread our arms
Two souls embrace as one
Your remedy is my cure
And our symptoms are now gone

When I Was 13I am just a little boy in a grown man’s shell
Who finds himself lost in a daydream
That my mind manifested one Monday morning
On the cusp of being aged thirteen

Sitting on a plastic chair in a stale classroom
Looking out of the rain lashed window
Thoughts turn to the length of my imagination
And indeed what distance it could go

I was snapped back to reality as always
With my tank topped teacher's booming cry
This was not the first, nor would it be the last time
I would find myself preoccupied

Classmates around me may live their life linear
Like most people who have gone before
But I can’t see the point of a mind’s vast la

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StarcrossedWe were found in a pool of blood
Starcrossed lovers in each others arms
Suicide note in your pocket
Your hand grasped tightly in my palm

You were wearing that red dress
Under your overcoat
The rain had fallen hard that day
Distorting the words which you'd wrote:

'Dear cruel world and everyone within
I am leaving you all today
With the only boy I have ever loved
Lay silent here next to me

Nobody understands me
Or heals my wounds like he does
He feels the pain and sadness too
and I think we have suffered enough

No tears should be shed on our passing
As our souls now reside as one
Look for us in the rain dew
Look for us in the

Note MeThey found my love hanging
By a rope from a tree
With a note in her pocket
That was addressed to me

The stains of her tears
On the ripped out blank page
Evidence to my eyes
Of an emotional pain

The last tears she would shed
The last anguish she'd feel
The deepest cut to her heart
This time would not heal

And nor did it need to
Her earthly shackles left behind
Time now has no meaning
And meaning now has no time

Unfolding the piece of paper
Even the fresh air suffocates
Scribbled down , hurried scrawl
'if you're reading this, you are too late'

I fall to the floor frantic
Clutch the note to my face
Trying to catch my love

CryingEverywhere I go I see her face
I never got to touch her soft skin
Tell me how can I mourn the ending
When we were yet to even begin

And please don't you tell me to move on
You really think that I'm not trying?
In truth all that I want right now
Is to get through a day without crying

Reality BitesReality bites
Where as he tore shreds
From the pristine pages
Of the book you once read

A promise of a Prince
And of a fairytale
On those lonely nights
Serving to regale

And offer some solace
In times of despair
When hope felt as distant
As the love you once shared

Your book was unique
Though you try to replace
The words and the images
But you still see his face

Suffocated by life
Each breath hard to find
A broken, tarnished heart
In tumultuous times

Reality bites
But with your pride still intact
Maybe now is the time
That for once you bite back

The Man Who BurnsI am too sterile and static
I can feel you walking away
Into the arms of the man who burns
But then again why would you stay

He is so young and beautiful
He lives life while I rehearse
Acting upon his desires
While I write about mine in verse

Our love was Russian roulette
Without bullets in the chamber
Passing the gun back and forth
Without any sense of danger

The fire in your heart has gone now
This cliché is not lost on me
Metaphorically I'm the water
That dampened our destiny

You said you would never leave me
But this contract was never binding
I want you to find your freedom
If there's a freedom worth finding

Bey

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Submitted: February 27
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Silencing Sarahby *Rifle1980

Literature / Poetry / General Poetry / Free Verse

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~nightlynxness Mar 25, 2013

Oooh... very creepy, the overall tone has this dark malice... dark but pretty

*Rifle1980 Mar 26, 2013 General Artist

for some reason it is always easier for me to write dark. Glad you like it though!

~nuckykorprasertsri Mar 16, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

it's like a metaphor for religion

*Rifle1980 Mar 17, 2013 General Artist

thanks for taking time to read this and comment too.

~KuraDesu Mar 5, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thrillingly dark and powerful imagery. <3 lovely job <3

*Rifle1980 Mar 5, 2013 General Artist

I am glad you think so, thank you.

*NYCrainbow6 Mar 1, 2013 Student General Artist

0_0 I don't even know what to say!!! It's very intensely written. Dark imagery. I love it, is very well written but very horrible emotionally, meaning it gets me right to my very core with sadness. Love love love!!

*Rifle1980 Mar 1, 2013 General Artist

aww thank you. I did feel quite sinister writing it lol

Atleast I kept the H on the Sarah lol

*NYCrainbow6 Mar 1, 2013 Student General Artist

Lol I could tell you felt that way haha. And I'm glad you kept the h on too!

=cupcakekitten20 Feb 28, 2013

That is amazing. To me it seems like shes possessed and that's what the demon wants her to do, but that's just my perspective xo

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