Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


Featured in Collections

Writing by SecretlyFading

Well Written by XxLadyOblivionxX

Literature Comics by Phantom-of-Malice


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
February 18, 2013
File Size
929 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,335
Favourites
101 (who?)
Comments
36
×
Let me tell you this my friend
And I will tell you no more
If my passion is your crime
Then your love should be my law

I’m the exception to the rule
And the end of this blood line
I should hang my head in shame
I am repulsive by design

Allow me to elucidate
And I will tell you no lie
I am charged with being charmless
And I have no alibi

Feloniously you broke my heart
One chamber at a time
Though I’d expect nothing less
I am repulsive by design

Beware of the broken hearted
Indeed consider with caution
Repulsion cleansed my sorry soul
Such a spiritual abortion

But when a full term of sorrow
And low self esteem combine
I still remain unloveable
I am repulsive by design
7x
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsigilsmonolith:
SIGILSMONOLITH Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
no i meant equius from homestuck
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013   General Artist
ahhh right. I have heard of it, but never seen :)
Reply
:iconsigilsmonolith:
SIGILSMONOLITH Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
why am i thinking of equius
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   General Artist
ah yeah, I get you. I have never seen the play but I know its horse related lol.

thanks for reading and commenting :D
Reply
:iconenlightenedenigma:
EnlightenedEnigma Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A broken heart is painful.. I feel as if this poem gives me a taste of that feeling from long ago..
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013   General Artist
yeah, it can be one of the worst emotional pains.

Thanks for the comment :)
Reply
:iconskyesteiner:
SkyeSteiner Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Student Writer
I can't tell you how much this applies to me
...as in, I was thinking that exactly just a few minutes ago--I'm repulsive by design
Let's just say, your closest friends could be the best backstabbers.

I can really appreciate this poem because of it. This just made me feel better because it shows that I can still be proud about myself; All I can do is apologize for being me because I'm not going to change just for them (even if it could hurt).

So thank you so much
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013   General Artist
Yeah, stay true to yourself, that's all you can do :)

Some people will come and go in your life but the good ones who take you for what you are and dont judge you, will stick around.

Thank you for the comment. Its really nice to hear that someone could gain something from reading something i wrote :)
Reply
:iconbroken-blues:
Broken-Blues Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
this better not be about you cause if it is it's not true :icontantrumplz: [i rhymed o:]
but i don't know why you were saying your poetry is rubbish now ._. they're brilliant! plus it's nothing like nursery rhymes because it has big words in there not suitable for children lol
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
:D you still remember the emoticons even though you havent been on for a while xD

lol maybe i can call them adult nursery rhymes

thanks again :hug:
Reply
:icontijonwolfsmajestys:
TijonWolfsMajestys Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Sad but great :) really nice job
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013   General Artist
thank you :hug:
Reply
:icontijonwolfsmajestys:
TijonWolfsMajestys Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Welcome :)
Reply
:iconpoeknowsprose:
poeknowsprose Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
Very sad, but very well written, I really liked it.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:icongrnideladeee:
Grnideladeee Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013
So great! Ty for sharing in every way!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you!
Reply
:iconofelialoov:
ofelialoov Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love it... !
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
:) thanks!
Reply
:icontwistednotes:
TwistedNotes Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i love this one, your way with words and getting the perfect sentence the capture what your trying to express is just spectacular :nod:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   General Artist
ohhh thank you, i really appreciate that. Its worth all the effort when I read a comment like yours :)
Reply
:iconfulcrum45:
Fulcrum45 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
'Beware the broken hearted'
I don't know why, but I really love that line. People are most dangerous when they've got nothing left to lose, hm? Anyways, powerful poem, I quite liked it.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013   General Artist
glad you liked it, thank you :)
Reply
:iconisabella-angel:
isabella-angel Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This really sad. Very esoteric. i can feel the longing good job
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconprotagonist-117:
Protagonist-117 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I can feel what you've written; you've been hurt like me.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013   General Artist
I think that is why sites like this help. For people to know that they are not alone in how they feel. Thanks so much for taking time to comment :)
Reply
:iconthexnightxangel:
ThexNightxAngel Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This was great. ~straight to favorites~
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013   General Artist
:) thanks so much!
Reply
:iconthexnightxangel:
ThexNightxAngel Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanxx for writing it :)
Reply
:icondevoneaton:
DevonEaton Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ok, stanza four got me. That second line is just amazing.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   General Artist
:) thanks glad you like that bit.
Reply
:iconthorns-and-roses:
Thorns-And-Roses Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   General Artist
This poem flows beautifully and is emotionally powerful! Absolutely love it.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   General Artist
:) thank you very much!
Reply
:iconredmeg:
RedMeg Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
...wow. I think you did pretty well with rhyming and still getting the feeling across; the only part where it 'feels' slightly clumsy is the next-to-last verse. Otherwise, it's really well done and very fascinating. Great work!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013   General Artist
yeah, i know what you mean. I keep trying to think of different ways to phrase it lol.

It will keep haunting me everytime i read it.

thanks for the comment :)
Reply
Add a Comment: