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November 19, 2013
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So long as you furnish me with a window
And a steel frame bed in a corner of a room
I’ll endeavour to keep the pane transparent
To give my eyes a crystal clear view of the moon

Regardless of what phase you are going through
Whether it be half, crescent, full, blue or new
You have never once shown me your dark side
But so many times I have shown mine to you

But tranquillity can be seen on a clear night
Tides roll through my veins as thoughts flood to my pen
Of all the ancestors that have gone before me
Who've had the same moon looking down over them

So long as you furnish me with a window
And a steel frame bed in a corner of a room
You are more than welcome to keep the pain coming
As my true life source is out of reach from you

Regardless of what phase I am going through
Whether I feel sombre or jovial in mood
It’s easy to call me a loner or lunatic
Maybe I just see things from a different point of view

So now I look to the skies on a clear night
Knowing there’ll be no one to listen any time soon
But my concerns have dispersed with the clouds
As from now on I will tell my secrets to the moon
realityisfarlessexciting
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:iconstormygirl335:
stormygirl335 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013
Beautifuly written, the lines flow so well, it's just a great poem~
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013   General Artist
thank you very much :)
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:iconaurora-celest:
aurora-celest Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
Your soul is beautiful. Thank you for creating this.
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2013   General Artist
that is such a nice thing to say :) thank you
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:icondandelawesome:
DanDelAwesome Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
This specific couple of lines
"It’s easy to call me a loner or lunatic
Maybe I just see things from a different point of view"
seem to treat the reader and the persona as if one is antagonistic of the other. Who can relate to a poem that they're being near explicitly told that they couldn't understand? It's but a small part of the poem, I know, but the reek of cliche' from it puts a grimace on my face that is a little hard to shake; it was like watching someone trip up and graze their chin. It's my only criticism. Otherwise I think the poem has some beautiful imagery. The relationship seems to be serene and personal without being too overt and the fixed form is a real breath of fresh air in an environment that can seem at times dominated with self-indulgent free-verse. I've only got that one criticism.
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013   General Artist
thank you for the comment and the critique. I really do appreciate you taking time out to not only read my poem but to offer your thoughts too :)
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:iconbunocerous:
bunocerous Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"Tides roll through my veins as thoughts flood to my pen
Of all the ancestors that have gone before me
Who've had the same moon looking down over them"
Powerful, truly powerful.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013   General Artist
:) glad you enjoyed that part. I appreciate your comment :) thanks!
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:iconcutiewolf15668:
cutiewolf15668 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013
 love it
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013   General Artist
thanks :)
Reply
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