Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconrifle1980: More from Rifle1980


Featured in Collections

Stories and Literature by GoldenJay097

Writing by MayZippy

Literature by FrZnSquid


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
March 27, 2013
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,661
Favourites
151 (who?)
Comments
54
×
Today her parents ask how her day has been
By now the answer has been well rehearsed
She insists to them that everything is fine
But the reality is the reverse

In fact she’s the antonym of the word ‘fine’
Inadequate, unsatisfactory
This is due to her creatively cursed mind
Steeped in a world of such simplicity

Yesterday friends asked how she has been coping
Waiting for their turn to talk, do they care?
They just see a happy, contented princess
Not a pensive, vacant, glazed over stare

In fact she’s the opposite of contented
Restless and at war with reality
Battling feelings of alienation
From unsupportive friends and family

Tomorrow strangers will ask her what is wrong
But in white lies she has become well versed
Knowing that the tar black pit of torrid truth
Will not dilute and only make things worse

She’s living the antonym of the word ‘truth’
But her lies are not designed to betray
Just to cover the cracks and to smother those
Who aren’t part of her daily masquerade
Thank you to my good friend Lena :iconmexicanpedo: for inspiring me to write this with her wonderful gif [link]

Both her and Dzeni (who share the account together) are extremely talented, two of my favourite deviants and should definitely be checked out.

thank you :)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconitallant:
iTallaNT Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014
I don't read poetry often... because in all honesty most of it doesn't connect with me at all. (either because it's too simplified or the message too abstract) But I will say this, your poetry is absolutely amazing. I've only just started reading through your gallery and have found several that I really felt a strong connection too.

This one in particular calls to me, as though it is a mirror of myself. Not once when I have turned to other people and received true understanding or aid, and yet everyone turns to me. After a point, as other deviants bellow have said, you simply stop trying to explain and internalize everything. You adopt a mask for everyone to see and try your hardest to keep the veneer from cracking. It becomes second nature, to the point where as an individual you fail to recognize your own feelings and needs. Everything is suppressed for years, for decades; until your mind and soul and personality snap, it feels as though you've been torn in two. Then even as this transpires your tendencies are hard to break. While you may feel like you are dead or dying, subjected to some cruel fate, your second nature is there... picking up the pieces and gluing them back onto the that mask.

In some ways it makes you strong: dependable for others, rational of mind, able to move on from difficult situations with no obvious effect. But many end up breaking completely and seeking death. So in all truth, while others claim to envy me, this is a fate I wish for no one; because one day it will consume everything.

On a slightly lighter note, when it comes to telling people that your fine, eventually your mind finds ways of telling people how you truly feel without uttering the actual words. For instance (using Aerosmith's definition) the word "fine" means "Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional." But the person you are talking too will never know what you truly meant. 
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014   General Artist
hey there :)

thank you so much for the comment.

I really appreciate you taking time to come and tell me how you can relate to some of my poems. In such a beautiful way too. Comments like this mean such a lot to me and become part of the poem i submit. I hope other people see the comment and can not only relate to the poem but the words you wrote too.

thanks again :)
Reply
:iconitallant:
iTallaNT Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014
No problem, your work is something worth commenting on.
You have a wonderful talent. No matter what people say or what happens in life, keep on writing.
I look forward to seeing your future verse.
Reply
:iconskyesteiner:
SkyeSteiner Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Student Writer
There are moments that you are just taken aback and you can't particularly comprehend your own feelings. I have to admit, this is definitely one of those moment.
While reading I empathized and I couldn't decide whether she should be proud of how she strong she is for holding everything in or how the void will continue eating away what's left of her heart. It amazes me how brave she is, but at the same time it worries me...like she might just try to get use to that unhealthy lifestyle until her sanity dissolves.

Oh don't mind me, I'm just really thinking of some people and how it drives me crazy that they don't realize that they don't have to be martyrs all the time...but you know...it complicated

Once again, you're writing astounds me! It almost seems like every time I read your poems, it hits me with revelation (and it pretty much attunes to what's happening to me). Thank you! Gah I'm so talkative!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner May 30, 2013   General Artist
:) i love your comments and how you are so talkative.

it's really nice that you can relate too. Obviously not great that you have been in some of the situations but good to know that other people go through similar things.

thanks so much again :)
Reply
:iconwickedsoulsbook:
wickedsoulsbook Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013  Student Writer
I have know that feeling of lying to those who only pretend to care. they would never understand how someone is truly feeling so why waste your breath trying to explain.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013   General Artist
it is a beautiful moment when you find someone who does listen and does genuinely care. They dont come around very often though.

thanks for the comment :)
Reply
:iconpixie-stixx:
Pixie-Stixx Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
This is my life >.<
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013   General Artist
awww i am sorry to hear that :(
Reply
:iconpixie-stixx:
Pixie-Stixx Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
yeah but I will live it makes you stronger :)
Reply
Add a Comment: