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Every time with the same brush
This girl paints so many strokes
Each one speaking of emotions
Louder than the words she wrote

So where does the magic lie,
Allowing this girl's mood to swing?
Is it in the paint or the colours,
The feeling of release it brings?

She lets go of those emotions
That are too painful to express
The open ear of a loved one
Now an empty white canvas

Cathartic is the process
With her dainty little strokes
Thick layers of paint will take us
To land's nobody else knows

Now she paints with love for us
And happiness in her heart
The trees, the flowers, the sunset
The smiles, the eyes, the stars

Every time with same brush
Just different colours and shades
As the white canvas disappears
Her negative thoughts begin to fade
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:iconcygam-7:
Cygam-7 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   Traditional Artist
Brilliant!
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconjeffrinjawahar:
jeffrinjawahar Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thick layers of paint will take us
To land's nobody else knows

It's amazing.... the way you end ....
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2012   General Artist
thank you very much for that. I do appreciate your words
Reply
:iconjeffrinjawahar:
jeffrinjawahar Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
keep going..
Reply
:iconkatieraff:
katieraff Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I love your poetry
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012   General Artist
:) thank you very much. Really nice of you
Reply
:iconimmyself97:
ImMyself97 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
i love the last stanza! all your poetry is beautiful =)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012   General Artist
:) thats really kind of you, thank you :)
Reply
:iconcuddleslut17:
CuddleSlut17 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So that was pretty much beautiful. The 4 stanza is my fav. I love it all though. It flows very nicely and the ryame isn't forced. Great job.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012   General Artist
oh thank you so much :)
Reply
:iconcuddleslut17:
CuddleSlut17 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your very welcome. I don't know how old you are but you have a real talent. Can't wait for a new piece
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012   General Artist
I am older than most people think probably lol. But am very new to poetry so your words are really encouraging :)
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:iconcuddleslut17:
CuddleSlut17 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aw thanks. I been writing for almost 15 years. But your words really blow me away seriously. Especially with this piece. I can do emotion really well but my vocabulary isn't very expanded. You on the other hand wow :) Can't wait to read another :)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)

you know my vocabulary isnt great either. I often use a thesaurus just to try and use more poetic words.Sometimes, infact quite often i discover a new word while i write a poem :)
Reply
:iconcuddleslut17:
CuddleSlut17 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh really thanks for the info. I'll try it sometime. I guess I can't feel to bad because my learning disability makes it a little difficult. I'm in my late twenties so I want to be able to spell and use words the right way lol. I should totally add you to my watch list you mind?
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012   General Artist
it would be an honour :) i will add you too :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Student General Artist
That is so romantic. Writing poems about the same thing. :iconadorableplz:
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012   General Artist
:D yeah. Next we are going to try and write a poem together :)
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Student General Artist
that'll be awesome!
Reply
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:iconforestofwarriors:
ForestOfWarriors Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
So beautiful and inspiring! I love this :heart:
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:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconwarwolf2009:
warwolf2009 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012
Not bad, I pretty liked to read it.

As I see, main character of this poem is a girl, who lost her loved one and she paints release her negative feelings. She doesn't like white color and tires to cover all paper or any white material in which she paints on with any different colors, because it reminds her of white canvas, in which her loved one was put or warped in (death and stuff). And when that color disappears from paintings sight, her mind is at the ease for a moment... Well, util next painting I suppose :)

Nice :D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012   General Artist
cool. Its nice to hear your feed back and your feelings about the poem.

Thanks for commenting :)
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:iconme100200300:
me100200300 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
Beautiful!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012   General Artist
thank you! :)
Reply
:iconrosewashere1997:
RoseWasHere1997 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is amazing!
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
thank you so much :)
Reply
:iconrosewashere1997:
RoseWasHere1997 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :P
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
while the rest of this poem has a good sense of rhythm and concept, this stanza:
"So where does the magic lie?
Allowing this girl's mood to swing
Is it in the paint or the colours?
The feeling of release it brings?"
struggles. the punctuation throws off the meaning, as well as the meter; consider changing the punctuation to:
"So where does the magic lie,
Allowing this girl's mood to swing?
Is it in the paint or the colours,
The feeling of release it brings?"

it's more grammatically correct and improves the fluency; i stumbled over those lines, and it took a moment for me to understand what you were trying to say because of those errors. otherwise, this is a beautiful poem that captures your intentions well.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
i wrote it and i even stumbled over those lines lol.

I will change it because it definitely improves the fluency :)

thanks so much for your comment and input
Reply
:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
you're very welcome (: i enjoyed reading this poem, and i'm glad to help.
Reply
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:icondreamlandwarrior:
DreamLandWarrior Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
So beautiful
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconstaycharmed:
staycharmed Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
thank you :)
Reply
:iconhudgens77:
hudgens77 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist
Awwww, it's lovely!:D
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
thanks so much :)
Reply
:iconhudgens77:
hudgens77 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist
You're welcome:3
Reply
:iconvaddict4ever:
vaddict4ever Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012
very beautiful =)
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
aww thank you :)
Reply
:iconbookwormmk:
BookWormMK Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is very sweet.
Reply
:iconrifle1980:
Rifle1980 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012   General Artist
thanks for reading and commenting :)
Reply
:iconhoples:
Hoples Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
this is quite lovely. I love it :)
Reply
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