Does mother notice my visits to the bathroom
Have become more frequent of late?
And how they always seem to be after meal times
When with my parents I’ve just ate
Does she stand in the hall outside the bathroom
With her ear pressed against the door?
Wondering why the tap is running so fast
And what I’ve flushed the toilet twice for
Has she seen all of the empty sweet wrappers
Hidden under my bed when she cleans?
Does she fully understand the significance
Of what this behaviour actually means?
Is purge even a word in her vocabulary
To which she’s able to define?
Does she believe my words or my sunken eyes
When I insist to her that I am fine?
Does father notice that I spend many hours
In front of our full length mirror?
Intensely staring at my pathetic reflection
Yet the image never becomes clearer
I see something different to what he can see
A distortion of his little girl
Whose control over this food and this eating
Is the only control she has in this world
Has he tried to ignore the scars on my knuckles
From forcing my hand down my throat?
Does he understand the fear that builds within me
When my stomach begins to bloat?
Is purge even a word in his vocabulary
To which he’s able to define?
I just want this food out from under my skin
And all these thoughts from out of my mind