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October 23, 2012
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It was a lonely cold winter's day
Not cold enough to freeze the leaves
But cold enough that as I exhale
It made visible this air that I breathe

The frozen grass around the pond
Creaks under my lead weight feet
Only fog alone will now obscure
What lies beneath the ice sheet

Are mine the only eyes to see her
Why is she still in her night clothes
Will she not be cold alone down there
Perhaps she has long since froze

And if so how does she talk to me
Knowing exactly how I think
Staring so long into her face
One day I'm sure I saw her blink

It was a lonely cold winter's day
I'd been here many times before
My parents told me to stay away
But my dreams told me to ignore

School became a preoccupation
As did food and a good nights sleep
I'd close my eyes and I'd see the girl
Not only blinking but she'd weep

Maybe I found her for a reason
While passers by came and went
And as the end of winter approached
I asked what would become of my friend

Would she rise to the surface for me
Or sink solemnly out of my life
I don't want to be alone again
So I take my first step onto the ice
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:iconcase-adia:
So pretty and sad. I love it! It's like we're right in the narrator's head and feeling what he/she is feeling. Good job :)
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:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 5 days ago   General Artist
oh that is really good to hear as that was the effect I was going for :)

thank you
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:iconcase-adia:
You're welcome! :D
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:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Jan 19, 2013   General Artist
thank you!
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:iconskyesteiner:
~SkyeSteiner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
:iconloveloveplz: I love it~!
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:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
:D thank you very much
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:iconvegetabelle:
~Vegetabelle Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh. My. This is currently my favorite poem you've written. It makes me want to scream that's how amazing it is. The descriptions are so good it makes me feel like I'm there.
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:iconrifle1980:
*Rifle1980 Nov 23, 2012   General Artist
:)I am so happy you like it.

When i write something like this i always imagine myself there as the character, almost like its a movie. Its just finding the words that is the hard part :)
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:iconvegetabelle:
~Vegetabelle Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That itself was poetic. You should write about that. like seriously.
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